Feeling very inspired today, I haven’t written a proper post in a while because I haven’t had the motivation to (I also have a lot of drafts saved but haven’t had the motivation to edit them up to scratch so that they’re ready to post). I haven’t been having writer’s block I’ve just…been projecting my energy elsewhere. Where that actually is I don’t know, I’ve just been listening to a lot of music and scrolling through endless quotes, blog posts, and poetry on Tumblr, as well as regularly looking at my reader page on here and seeing all of the mood boards, playlists and what everybody got up to this summer. I’ve been enjoying what everyone else is doing so much, I’ve put aside my own physical creativity and enjoyed it in different ways instead like as I said, listening to music and looking at visual inspo.
But now I’m back to writing (I think)! No promises as I may well have another creative hiatus again soon, I get so caught up and excited by what everyone else is doing I forget to continue it with myself! There’s not really a set point to this post, I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out there. I’ve been really into buying CDs and albums lately even though I don’t actually own a CD player anymore and listen to all my music on Spotify or my vinyl player, but I just love the idea of a physical representation of music and appreciating a piece of art that someone has created, a physical thing you can hold in your hands and say “here, look what I’ve made”. Music is intangible but CDs and albums change that and I’ve been getting really excited about it recently, CDs to me were something that was going out of fashion as nobody really bought or found it cool to own them anymore and I guess I just followed suit (which isn’t cool, don’t do that).
It all started when Viola Beach’s album came out, which you can buy here and, even though I’d been listening to it for free on Spotify, I just knew I had to buy it. All of the proceeds go to the band’s families and I felt like it was the least I could do. I only found out about these guys after what happened to them, which is absolutely heartbreaking. I began listening to their music and instantly fell in love with it, I was and am still so sad that I never knew about them until after what happened because I really have fallen in love their music, it’s indie and happy and everything that I love to listen to. When the album did come out I took a trip into town especially so that I could buy it and it now sits in pride of place on top of my vinyl records.
This brings me on to my next purchase which is one of my favourite albums in the world, Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange. I’ve listened to this hundreds of times ever since it came out in 2012 but after purchasing one CD I couldn’t stop. I’ve started to rearrange my room into something that feels more like a representation of me and slowly but surely, I’m getting there. My room felt all too organised and even though it had personality, it didn’t have as much of my personality as I wanted and so I decided to put more of my things on display – such as my record collection and now, CDs. I wanted something to go next to my Viola Beach CD and Channel Orange instantly came to mind. I popped into HMV and found it straight away; it now also takes pride of place on top of my vinyl records next to Viola Beach. Blonde is next on the list.
Lana Del Rey is one of my favourite artists and people in this world; every time I listen to her voice I fall in love with her all over again and am reminded of the exact reasons why she’s so important to me in the first place, I will never forget what she did for me at a time in my life when I needed it the most. As cliché as it sounds, she set me free and enabled me to see the light during a time when my world felt like it was only ever going to be filled with darkness. She is connected to one of the very biggest and deepest parts of my soul and is therefore automatically connected to me. Born To Die, The Paradise Edition is my favourite album of all time and always will be due to the connections I have with it and the period of time in my life that it represents. Every time I listen to it I’m taken back to that place and time, the thing that encaptures me the most is that it’s a place and time I’d never wish to go back to if someone paid me but Lana enables me to relive it in the most beautiful ways and feel connected to the person I lost without feeling sad about it and helpless. Instead of feeling down, I feel freedom, hope and everything good in the world. I close my eyes and listen to every word, every note and it feels as if my best friend is sitting right there next to me and we’re 15 years old again. That right there is everything good in the world, and I feel it every time I play those songs. Every time I play Lana.
Before it happened I was actually supposed to borrow the CD from my best friend so I could put it on my phone but I never got the chance, three years later I should probably get around to doing it. It’s another important one to add to the to-do list.
“Who are you? Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them? I have.
I am fucking crazy.
But I am free.”