skins makes me feel like

Hi loves,

A little bit of a different post today, I’ve wanted to share this piece for a while now but wasn’t sure when the right time would be as I know it’s a little different to the things I normally talk about – Skins is (my favourite ever) tv series and it’s my safe place, so I hope you can appreciate my ramblings anyway, even if things like this aren’t really your cup of teaβ™‘. This is a journal entry I wrote in late December when I was going through a very dark patch and this is what helped me get through.

favourite generation: 3
favourite series: 5
favourite character gen 1: chris
favourite character gen 2: no one really stands out for this one
favourite character gen 3: rich

Skins makes me feel well…good. Maybe I should write about how things make me feel more, so I can go back and remember it – it would be dangerous for me to forget, though I doubt I ever will. Skins is my safe place – I’m talking mostly about Gen 3. In fact no, I’m talking completely about Gen 3, I could try and make this sound poetic or worry that the words don’t flow as well as I’d like them to but that was Skins all over wasn’t it, it was beautifully fucked, in the most incredible way.

I loved Gen 1, they were lovely to watch. I didn’t care as much for Gen 2 even though I still enjoyed watching them, and then Gen 3 completely changed me (possibly my life). They were so great. I felt like people didn’t enjoy the last generation because they were so far away from the original Skins however, I think that’s the thing I fell in love with. Gen 3 was where Skins ended for most people, but it was where Skins started for me. Watching back interviews of the cast gives me the nicest feeling as everyone is exactly the same off screen as they are on it, they are all literally their characters. That’s what I love about the show, the producers weren’t looking for clean-cut, Oscar award-winning actors. They were looking for something different, something new and exciting, most importantly they were looking for people who were truly and unapologetically themselves, they were looking for people who were real. Something I hope I will always be.

They hadn’t really had any acting experience before (minus Dakota), most of them were still in sixth form or college and had just turned up to audition one day after school, or maybe even bunked off from it in the first place. I loved watching the casting experience in Bristol because there were hundreds and hundreds ofΒ teens lined up waiting to audition, each one with their own unique style and sense of self. They weren’t clean-cut, they didn’t look like models, they were just inspired kids who had a passion to embark on an experience that was too good to miss. I think I felt more connected to it because they were the same age as me too, and that’s another thing about Skins – they actually cast people that are the same age as their characters, they don’t have 26 year olds who won the genetic lottery playing the role of 18 year olds – they have 18 year olds playing 18 year olds. AΒ real 18 year old who knows what being 18 actually feels like, not some teenage Hollywood creation whose never been exposed or introduced to something we in the real world would class as ‘normal’.

I don’t quite know why Gen 3 affected me so much, it just did. The characters were just so different to what had previously been shown before – something that not everyone was a fan of but I definitely fell in love with it. It was modern, the fashion was still crazy and Bristol was still as alive as ever but there was just something different about it that hit me and resonated in me. Maybe it was Grace and losing a friend in your friendship group and not knowing how to continue on without her afterwards. It was Alo and Mini being scared and lost but loving each other anyway and it was Rich in Grace’s bedroom watching old videos on film and telling her to never grow up Grace, because it’s shit. It was the thing about Grace, that no matter what you did, she was still your friend. It was being lost and found and fucked up and beautifully insane and having a sense of belonging in a world where you had nowhere to call home. It was something I wished I’d been a part of, something that hit me and made me feel safe because I was transported to a place where I was one of them and I wanted to help and live it and be a part of it, to be wild and crazy and then worry about why I’d fucked my life up and that actually I wasn’t as grown up as I thought I was, I was still a kid in a world where I didn’t know how to act but you know what, fuck it. Fuck it for Chris. Get wasted and worry about it in the morning, at least we have each other.

It was the way everything was a mess but not really, the situations were dangerous but so was my mind and in turn that brought comfort and made everything feel okay. It was my safe place, I understood it and they understood me, I didn’t want it to end. I’m writing this because I’m trying to find myself and understand her. I’m writing to myself through myself. I want to understand why certain things make me feel the way they do, why certain things affect me so much. I want to embrace it. Maybe then I can help myself, maybe doing this will help – writing about the things I love and the ways in which they affect me and elicit feelings within meΒ I can only ever be grateful for. I felt so connected to it and it changed me, I want to figure out why. Though I’m pretty sure I already know.

now that I’ve lost everything to you
you say you wanna start something new
and it’s breaking my heart you’re leaving, baby I’m grieving
but if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you find a lot of nice things to wear
but then a lot of nice things turn bad out there
ohΒ baby, baby, it’s a wild world
it’s hard to get by just upon a smile girl
oh baby, baby, it’s a wild world
I’ll always remember you, like a child girl
you know I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do
and it’s breaking my heart in two
because I never wanna see you sad girl, don’t be a bad girl
but if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a nice friends out there
but just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware
oh baby, baby, it’s a wild world
it’s hard to get by just upon a smile girl
oh baby, baby, it’s a wild world
I’ll alwaysΒ rememberΒ you, like a child girl

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12 thoughts on “skins makes me feel like

    • hell0chloe says:

      Ahh yes, there’s no one quite like Effy, she was such an intriguing character! I still can’t believe what happened to Freddie, even after I watched it 1200 times I still had to keep googling & asking other people because I was in denial that it was true! He was such a lovely character x

      Liked by 1 person

  1. thevisualdiaryofabs says:

    I fell in love with Skins! One of my favourite series, I was totally hooked when I first started watching it, because it’s all so relatable and interesting – not sure if you’ve watch Misfits before? It’s a little different, but for me it gave off a similar vibe x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rachelle says:

    Oh man, I’m so glad you’re paying the third generation the credit it deserves! Rich and Grace destroyed me and then pieced me back together again, Mini’s character development was a triumph in and of itself, the soundtrack was incredible, every characters story-line was raw and honest. To me it was nice that it was the first generation that tied up some loose ends. In the first four seasons so much crazy shit happens and you never see much of the fallout. But here a friend is lost early on, people have to own up to their decisions, it’s just such a slice of life in such a truthful and unapologetic way. Oh man, you’ve literally reopened a teenage love affair I haven’t paid too much mind to in awhile haha. Wonderfully written (as per usual) ❀ x

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      This made me so so happy to read you have no idea, I literally cannot even think about Rich & Grace because I’m pretty sure they broke my heart but the way it was written was so beautiful and the whole storyline was so incredibly played out, Rich’s episode in that season destroyed me I swear. I agree Mini’s character development was definitely something, I came to absolutely adore her, such an amazing character. They were all so, so good I just can’t help but gush about the whole thing because I think it’s all a masterpiece. I’m so glad I could reopen that little piece of your heart! ❀️ Thank you for your lovely words xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. kingajpg says:

    that sound pretty much sums up skins and my experience while watching it. I loved the show and the message because it reflects the teenage life so accurately. It definitely is some sort of a rite of passage to watch skins. Lovely writing in this post!

    Liked by 1 person

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