I just watched La La Land, I cried and now I’m in a strange mood. An emotional mood where your heart wants to reach out to everything and hold on to it forever. I’m thinking of all the people I love and all the people I am yet to love. It was sad because in the movie they didn’t end up with who they were supposed to, they told each other they were going to love each other forever and they meant it, it was true, yet they didn’t end up together in the end – it was more of a sign that they both came into each other’s lives to show each other their dreams and to inspire each other to follow them, because if they’d ended up with each other then they wouldn’t have been able to achieve everything they wanted to, even though their life together would have still been beautiful anyway.
I’m not sure which I would rather have – love captivates and consumes me, I would do anything for it. I would do anything for the person I loved, even if that meant sacrificing my dream for it, even if they pushed me to achieve it, I would still take them with me and never leave. I wouldn’t follow my dream and then settle for something that was less than true love, but I suppose the film was trying to show that they both got what they needed in the end, even though they knew that they would love each other forever. But maybe it was in a different way too, they loved each other, but they also loved each other enough to let go and follow their dreams, and maybe that’s what true love really is. At the end, all they could do was thank each other with a small nod to say I’m forever grateful that you changed my life and showed me who I needed to become, who I was always meant to become. I will never forget you and I will always love you. We are both where we need to be now.
I feel sad just writing this, like my heart is going to fall out of my chest. This isn’t a pre-planned post so I probably sound heavily emotional right now, which I am. There’s an emptiness in my stomach. I don’t want that to happen to me, as silly as it sounds…I said I would do anything for love and I really think I mean it, I would sacrifice myself for it but I will also grow with it and grow with the person I love, so that together we both end up as two parts of the same thing. Whole. I would rather be with the love of my life than achieve my dream and live with the knowledge that there was always someone out there that was better for me…but maybe that’s just me.
Maybe, that’s just me.