life is too short to lose friends

Hi angels,

I felt like writing this today, not for any particular reason but just because I thought it should be something I talked about, kind of like a little chat with you guys and a little update on where I am right now in life.

*note: I wrote this post a few months ago hence why some of the timing may be off*

I met up with my best friend yesterday for the first time in 8 months, we stopped talking around November / December last year because physical and mental distance were tearing us apart and we both ended up on kind of bad terms with each other, for absolutely no reason at all. We’d been best friends for around 5 years prior to this and apart from this incident, we had never fallen out or stopped speaking before, so it was weird for this to happen to us. Especially since we’re definitely not the kind of people to argue or get involved in drama.

To cut a long story short, things had been on and off and a very shaky and an explosive argument at the beginning of this year led us to stop trying with each other completely, after it happened I think we both thought that was the end of our friendship and we would never see or speak to each other again. Apart from yesterday, we hadn’t spoken in 3 months and even before that, we had only spoken around twice, the conversation being lifeless and awkward and as you can imagine, it ended very quickly.

Now, this is completely unlike me. I keep myself to myself, stay out of drama and I’m not a confrontational person in the slightest. I don’t argue, fight, or say bad things about others and so to have this grey cloud looming over me regarding my best friend was definitely not something I enjoyed. After the initial argument at the beginning of the year I think we both knew that it was the end of our friendship like I mentioned, so I just tried to move on because I felt like a lot of true colours were shown for both of us, and now I knew where I stood.

Months went by and I was doing pretty well actually, I’m a very big believer in the universe and that everything happens for a reason, so I was just drifting along and letting everything take its course, accepting that things were what they were and that was the end of it. However, over the past couple of weeks I had found old journal entries, emails, text messages and blog posts from the both of us and it made me feel very sad for what I’d lost – yes maybe we weren’t supposed to be in each other’s lives anymore, but our friendship had been one that ensured we brought out the best in each other and somewhere we could be ourselves and enjoy things other people necessarily wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about – talking about the universe, spirituality, writing, poetry, creating stories, watching paranormal shows and believing every second of it. I couldn’t do that with anyone else and I suddenly felt myself feeling very lonely and isolated, was I really going to let negative feelings and my pride get in the way of appreciating something that made me happy and changed my life for the better? I wanted to remember the good times if not for anything else, I wanted to leave things on a high note.

I reached out (apprehensively – we’d left things on bad terms so I wasn’t sure how to act or even react, it all felt horribly weird). My aim was to talk things through face to face and basically lay our cards on the table and resolve things like adults. I had wanted to do this a few months prior but because of the physical distance between us it wasn’t possible, which meant nothing was ever discussed and therefore led to even more tension building up. I was hoping I’d have more luck the second time around.

We agreed to meet and to be honest, I was absolutely terrified. I felt intimidated and extremely nervous – like I said, I’m not a confrontational person at all and so the second I parked up I wanted to turn the car around and drive back home. Luckily, I didn’t. My friend met me outside and we took her dog for a walk, the weather was super sunny and we were gone for about an hour. We acted completely normal with each other like nothing had happened and honestly, it felt like I’d never been away. There was no tension, no negative feelings / energy, nothing. It was super normal and I found myself relaxing instantly, though I also wasn’t so surprised as like I mentioned earlier, the both of us hate confrontation, drama, negativity etc., we were both mature enough to let things like that go.

By the time we’d been on a walk and gone full circle, we still hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room. I’d already written a letter expressing my feelings (writer mode for me is constantly on) to give her just in case I forgot to mention anything or didn’t bring it up when we actually met because like I said, things were currently running completely normal.

We were nearly back where we started and suddenly my friend dropped the dreaded line, “So, what did you want to meet and talk about?”, she and I both knew why we were there but things were going so nicely, I already had the letter in my bag ready  and I didn’t even really know how to bring it up.

For the next 2 hours we sat in my car and talked about absolutely everything that had happened, there was never any ‘he said / she said’ about it or trying to point the finger because it was general lack of communication that had led us here in the first place – neither of us had necessarily done anything wrong. Her mum came outside halfway through our chat saying it was nice to see me and that she’d missed me and I got out the car and gave her a hug. I was super close with all of her family beforehand and her house was like my second home, it’s kind of like that thing when you break up with someone and miss seeing their family every day.

After chatting for another half an hour maybe, we went inside and sat with her family just chatting like we always used to and everything felt so, so normal. I left her house that night feeling so content, happy and generally just proud to have had the confidence to sort something out that could have easily been left alone. I’m very lucky to know such forgiving and caring people, if this situation was with another friend, the outcome may not have been so peachy.

Things are now completely normal again and I have my best friend back, all because I fought my pride and fear and reached out to resolve something that would have been left on bad terms for the rest of our lives otherwise. My aim was to resolve things, clear the air and have no negative feelings between us – I didn’t know how she would react and I didn’t know if we would be friends again after it, I thought maybe we would just clear the air and move on separately with our lives but luckily that didn’t happen, and my life is back to the way it was 8 months ago, which is the way I liked it.

It’s very simple to take the easy option and just not try, but that’s not the kind of person I am and I’d rather just be mature enough to resolve things, even if it’s just for my own peace of mind. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and just push your pride away, put your differences aside and do the right thing – anything that helps you move on is the right thing. I was doing it to move forward for myself and to clear the air, because there is nothing I hate more than negative feelings and things being left on bad terms.

Luckily, I got the best possible outcome but situations won’t always end that way, if it helps you to move on in life then it is always worth a try and just remember, life is too short to lose friends.

All my love,

Chloe .xx

31 thoughts on “life is too short to lose friends

  1. rachelle says:

    I’m such a big fan of taking the high road! It’s a hard thing to do though, so the fact that you were able to set aside pettiness and be mature is really admirable! I’ve had a few friendships fall on their faces, and I’ve always aimed to never permanently burn the bridge. Sometimes after some time apart you realize that the heat of the moment or lack of communication like you said, made you both feel things that weren’t true. I’ve managed to rectify things with some people and it’s just so wonderful, the few that I wasn’t able to mend things with hurt but at least I tried. I loved this post so much Chloe, and I’m so happy you’ve got your friend back x

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Thank you so much! I agree, I think it’s a very admirable thing to do and I appreciate anyone else who has the courage and takes the time to be the bigger person as it’s definitely not as easy as it sounds. I’m sorry to hear you haven’t been able to mend all of the friendships you would’ve liked to but maybe some things just aren’t meant to be – at least you were the bigger person and tried! That’s all you can do, it’s definitely their loss. Thank you for reading lovely 💛xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Thank you! I’ve never really done anything like it before because like you, I’ve always been too scared! As I’m getting older now though I’ve been trying to push those fears aside and be grown up about things, but it was definitely still scary! Thanks for reading lovely 💙xx

      Like

  2. Ellie says:

    Awww, thankyou for all the advice! I totally get you as this is happening with a ‘friend’ of mine. I don’t think that we will resolve it though aha. I also agree/believe with what you said about the universe 🔮
    Ellie xx 🌸✨💖

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Britney says:

    I’m glad you were able to work things out. Unfortunately, over a year ago I had a friend drop me. I didn’t do anything wrong intentionally, but I think she took something I said out of context and she completely blocked me on everything. Still to this day I have no way of contacting her due to being blocked. I did try reaching out to her friend, explaining things and apologizing. Her friend (who was also my friend) said she would pass the message along, but I was still blocked and then that friend unfollowed me too. It sucks the way things worked out, but I figured if someone could just cut me out of their life like that without even hearing me out to explain the miscommunication, then I didn’t need someone like that in my life anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Wow, I’m so sorry you had to go through that, that’s so uncalled for! I feel like if they were true friends then that situation would never have even happened, I know if I said something to my best friend and she interpreted it the wrong way, there’d be no chance of her simply blocking me and giving me no chance to explain. You’d think she would have allowed you to give your side of the story, even if it was for her own piece of mind. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Onwards & upwards though lovely, you’ll find greater people! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. thevisualdiaryofabs says:

    Sorry me again, I always like catching up on your blog in bulk, because I like to get cosy and read through! I’m exactly the same as you, I don’t do arguments and I definitely don’t do confrontation – I just don’t have it in me! Really brave of you to suggest meeting with your friend to sort things out, and thankfully it resulted in the best possible outcome!

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      I’m exactly the same don’t worry! Always end up binge reading & catching up on everyone’s posts, confrontation is literally my worst nightmare I avoid it like the plague hahaha, I’d never actually sorted out a situation like it before so it was definitely an eye opener for the future, though (hopefully) it won’t happen again. Thanks for reading!! X

      Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Thank you so much! Everything does happen for a reason and the Universe always works in mysterious ways – it knows exactly what we need and always makes sure to give us that, even if it’s not exactly what we want. Thank you for for reading lovely💙xx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sabina Sysantos says:

    I relate to this a lot…I’m going through something similar now, but still taking my time in between that “clearing the air” and “everythings back to normal” stage haha. Thanks for sharing though, it was lovely to read this 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. whatismaria says:

    This was such a great and important read and it’s so wonderful of you to share this experience because friendships are so much more important than pride, and communication is key in life – sometimes a lack of communication makes us miss out on so many opportunities and heartwarming moments like the ones you experienced. A couple of months ago, I was in a similar situation where I fell out with my closest friend because of a silly issue, didn’t speak for a couple of weeks because neither of us were willing to be the bigger person, apologise and move forward, but when I actually took that step things easily fell back into place! Thank you so much for sharing and have an amazing weekend ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      I literally couldn’t have put it better myself! Memories, friendships, feelings etc. are all so much more important and valuable than pride. It’s easy to get so caught up in the whole pointing the finger thing but at the end of the day, some people just belong in your life and you should never let lack of communication and petty arguments ruin that. I’m so glad I did what I did and I’m so glad you enjoyed hearing about it! I think sometimes you just have to go with your heart rather than your head and think, is all of this really worth losing this person over? Thanks for reading lovely 💜xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. seaofwordsx says:

    Omg so beautiful written! I almost wanted to cry cuz I was thinking all the time: Please let them be bff again. I’m so happy for you that everything is okay again and that you have your bff back! 💜 Once I had a fight witg my best friend and thought of loosing her made me cry so much but then we talked like you did and everything was okay again. Sometimes you have to talk, push away your fear. I also hate confrontation and drama. I have also a good friend in life which I know for 10 years but she never ask me how I’m doing and I’m just like is she really my friend? We used to be close. Even though if you live far away from each distance will never seperate great friends. I’m so damn happy with my real friends in life 😍 Never wanna loose them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      You are soooo cute my goodness, thank you so much!! It definitely made me realise that you do have to be the bigger person sometimes and that you shouldn’t let pride get in the way of sorting things out – if they’re true friends and really care about you, there’ll be no winners or losers anyway. Distance doesn’t separate true friendships and I’m glad it didn’t with ours, even though we stopped talking for a while I think it was because everything was so new and we didn’t know how to handle it, but now we’re back on track & I’m so happy about it! Thanks for reading angel 💜 xx

      Liked by 1 person

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