I got my fourth tattoo! ⚡️

Hello loves,

So originally I wasn’t going to turn this into a post (I didn’t think I’d have enough to write about) but a lot of you have asked me to write about getting my fourth tattoo and so of course, why not! I will at some point also do a tattoo tag but I’m holding off from that at the minute since I have a lot more still on the list that I’d like to include, but I will get round to it at some point I promise, bare with!

My fourth tattoo is a small one – nothing extravagant. It’s the words “just ride” in my best friend’s handwriting underneath the bend / crease in my arm (what’s that part even called????) and it’s from the song Ride by Lana Del Rey. As you may already know since I’ve mentioned it before, my best friend passed away when we were 15, she was my soul mate. We’d been best friends for 11 years and Lana is someone so, so significant and important to the both of us and she (Lana) channels my best friend like no other, her music literally saved me, I don’t know how I would have made it through without it and without her, it may sound strange but she was my only savior in the sense that she was the one person that made me feel okay again, because nothing else did.

Ride is my favourite song in the world; if you’ve listened to it you’ll understand why. It was mine and my best friend’s song and the lyrics just resonate with me like nothing else. The official video is around 10 minutes long because there’s a prologue and epilogue also featured in it, I won’t paste it all here since it’s quite long and you guys might not want to read it but if you do, just type it into Google and you’ll find it (if you read it let me know what you think!). Basically, the song and the spoken word are about the idea of freedom, home, being lost and being found etc. – the vibe of the whole kind of person I am and whenever I hear Lana talking I just close my eyes and listen…I travel to another place that’s far away from here. I’ve written the prologue and epilogue out so many times I could probably recite it backwards, but I just adore it so much. I adore her.

Instead of trying to explain what exactly this tattoo means to me, I’ll show you what I wrote to my best friend instead.

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So I went and did this crazy thing yesterday where I got your handwriting tattooed on me, cause you’re my best friend and I love you more than the fucking sun. I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time but couldn’t figure out the right thing, but this idea kept crossing my mind. It’s so weird to think I was sat next to you while you were writing the things this tattoo came from & now 6 years later I’ve got it permanently inked on my skin to honour you and the way you changed my life. Life is crazy and heartbreaking. I hope you love it just as much as I do, after the first tattoo I still wanted to get something else to resemble you and I’ve spent the past 4 years trying to figure something out, it’s really hard to put 11 years worth of us into one thing but I think this sums it up, I could hear you telling me this was the one and I know that this captures everything we are and always will be, I will also never forget that day, especially since it was one of our last. Running up and down the street in the rain like crazy kids with everyone wondering what the hell we were doing. I’m so glad I got to share and make those memories with you because it was something only we could understand, I’m so glad that I can manifest that memory into something visible and permanent and I’m so glad that I can hear your voice whenever I press play. Whenever the music starts, all I can hear is us and whenever I’m in the car I swear you’re in the passenger seat holding my hand and singing along with me like you always would have been, your voice the loudest thing I can hear. Thank you for leaving me with something that was going to get me through being 15 when I didn’t know if I could live anymore because I didn’t know how to exist without you. Thank you for giving me something that allowed me to get through 16, 17, 18 and 19. Each year is different, each year I count individually because it’s still a process, thank you for leaving me with something that still gave me pieces of you when I couldn’t find you in anything or anyone else. I’m so emotional but in the best way, in a happy way. The sadness is gone for this one Chels, this one is only full of love and light. Everything that you are.
I can’t wait to see you again; I’ll meet you in the sky.
From your best friend forever and always,
Chloe xxx

The whole idea of this line in the song is “When I’m at war with myself, I ride. I just ride”. It reminds me that throughout all of the shit I’ve been through so far, and for all the shit I’ll probably go through in the future, to just ride. When I’m at war with myself…just ride. All I need to do is look down at my arm and remember she’s there with me and I can do it, I can do whatever I put my mind to and I can get through anything. So far I have made it 4 years without the person I swore I couldn’t live without, I wanted to die when I was 15 because I didn’t know how to exist without her, I didn’t know how to be on my own. I’d never been on my own before.

But here I am 4 years later, and I’m getting stronger every day. I wanted something to resemble both Lana and my best friend, my tattoo may only be two words to some people but to me, it captures everything that me, my best friend and Lana will always be. I have the whole universe engraved on my skin forever; I couldn’t even describe how much love I have within me for that.

Even though this post may seem sad, I don’t want it to be. I know that you reading this can get through anything and I believe in you, life is hard and it’s shitty and it’s also extremely unfair, but you have to show it that it’s not going to get the better of you, because it can also be beautiful. You just have to show it you’ll always win. Life is way too short to let yourself be unhappy and to spend time worrying about what other people think, “Live fast. Die young. Be wild. And have fun”. Shave your head, pierce your nose, get that tattoo you always wanted, write love letters, wear that bikini you’ve had in your wardrobe for 3 years, go skinny dipping, WEAR THAT SHIRT WITHOUT A BRA, blast music as loud as you can, always say yes to seeing people, tell everyone you love them, tell the boy that hurt you to trip over a knife or something, eat that slice of cake, do whatever the hell you want.

My best friend would tell you the same. I know it’s my job now to take on life for the both of us and live it to the fullest. She may not have got that chance while she was here, but I’m going to make sure she gets that chance now through me.

“Who are you?
Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?
I have. I am fucking crazy.
But I am free.”

All my love,

Chloe .xx

79 thoughts on “I got my fourth tattoo! ⚡️

  1. writtenbyroxy says:

    This is so beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss, I’m always here if you want to talk ❤️ but I love “just ride”, but the song and the saying. It reminds me of the phrase I say to myself when the going gets tough: “just breathe”. It’s similar in meaning to yours… just breathe and everything will be okay, just keep breathing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Wow I can’t believe I’ve only just seen this!! I’m so sorry ❤️ It is another version of just breathe I agree, I think there’s many different ways to word it that all mean the same thing – we just have to keep going xx

      Like

  2. Georgia Beth says:

    I absolutely love this post! I really enjoy reading about peoples tattoos and yours is so lovely! Also the note to your friend is really beautiful. Just followed your blog after reading this post and I’m excited to read more 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is Kat. says:

    This is absolutely lovely. I love the meaning behind it all and such a lovely part on your body to represent your friend. I also love the song, and the whole idea around the tattoo is beautiful! Also, if you ever find out what that bit of the arm is called please let me know, my tattoo is also there xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sylvielois says:

    I have to be honest, I cried while reading the letter to your friend who passed away, it is so beautifully written. I don’t know you or your story and I have only followed your blog for a few weeks but I adore it so much already. I love your tattoo so much by the way; I love the idea of getting a tattoo with lyrics with such an important meaning. I would love to get one my self one day. Stay strong and I am sure your friend would have loved your tattoo. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Thank you so much angel, though I’m sorry to have made you cry 😦 If you get a lyric tattoo one day be sure to make a post about it because I’d love to read it! I agree, I think it’s such a lovely idea. Thank you for your wonderful words, they much a lot to me 💞xx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. whatismaria says:

    Not gonna lie, I physically teared up while reading this. I can’t even express how much I needed to read something so beautiful right now. The tattoo is such a wonderful gesture and you’ve conveyed its meaning so well – the memories and the love will stay with you forever. You are an incredibly strong person for going through so much and I admire you greatly for that. Xox

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sarah Faith says:

    This is so absolutely beautiful, thank you for sharing. Lana Del Rey is amazing and Ride is one of my favorite songs by her. I love the way she feels everything and explains everything so stunningly and wonderfully. Lovely post, per usual. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Thank you for reading lovely, I’m so glad you love Lana too!! Her whole vibe is so enchanting and just something out of this world, she captures everything so perfectly I agree. Thank you for your comment 💞xx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. kingajpg says:

    This is so beautiful! I love hearing people’s stories behind tattoos, probably because I don’t have any yet but I’m planning to get one this year on the night of my birthday. Just to let you know, I understand what that song means to you. Ride by Lana is literally my favourite song because of the message and the fact that you could share it with your best friend makes it even more beautiful. This post was lovely Chloe, as always ! ❤
    https://kingajpgblog.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Thanks so much lovely, I always love reading and learning about other people’s tattoos – even if there’s no specific meaning behind them, I find it all so interesting. I’m so glad you’re in love with the song just as much as I am, I could talk about it forever, it’s my favourite song in the world so snap on that one! Thank you for such a lovely comment 💞xx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. lauzieslifestyle says:

    I want to skip the cliches and refrain from saying sorry, because you have probably overheard it. Admittedly, I read the post quite sadly but then towards the end I smiled. You captured the sadness of life and then the beauty of it so perfectly.
    I listened to the song as well and it is really nice. I love the message behind it. You are very lucky to have had a friend who was so close to you and now forever inked. Your message is so true, we have to really live life and take it all in. Don’t worry about people who don’t worry about us. I feel very privileged right now to have found your blog. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Your words never fail to make me smile, thank you for such a lovely comment and thank you for listening to the song, I’m glad you liked it, the message behind it really is wonderful. I’m forever grateful to have known such an amazing person, I know I’ll never meet one like her again, she truly was one in a million. Thank you for reading, your words much such a lot .xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  9. seaofwordsx says:

    Beautiful blog post! I didn’t know your best friend died. What happened? I’m sure for you 💕 You are so strong and beautiful. You can go through anything in life. This post really made me feel something. I will look up the lyrics of the song. I love the tattoo and the idea behind it. I’m sure your bff would be proud of you 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    • hell0chloe says:

      Thank you lovely, she had an operation and passed away during it. Your words mean such a lot and I’m glad I could make you feel something with my own 💜 I hope you can understand and love the lyrics just as much as I do .xx

      Liked by 1 person

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