As I’ve turned 20 I’ve realised something which I knew all along anyway, but I think waking up that morning and realising I was no longer a teenager anymore really brought things home for me.
Life is too short.
Life is too short for me to be cold and bitter because people have hurt me in the past and I’m scared of getting hurt again, life is too short for me to not wear that outfit because I’m scared of what other people will think, life is too short for me to not do whatever the hell I want to do, because what if I wake up tomorrow and realise that it’s my last day on Earth and I haven’t done any of the things that I wanted to do because I was too scared the whole time, waiting for something better to happen. What did all of that amount to?
Life is too short for me to not throw absolutely everything at it and to not get right back up again when everything comes hurtling straight back at me. As long as I’m sensible with it – as long as I’m not giving love away because I need validation or because I need someone / something else to fill me up with it – why shouldn’t I throw love into every aspect of my life at full force?
If people can’t handle it, fine. It’s their problem, not mine. I’ve realised (and really understood) lately that when people react to things, it’s a reflection on them, not you. When I react to a certain situation or thing – it is a reflection on who I am, above anything else, and vice versa. When I give 100% of my love to someone and they throw it right back in my face, that reaction is not a reflection of me. It is not who I am. These reactions should not make me guarded and scared and cold and yada yada, because it is not a reflection of the person that I am. You are not measured by how other people react to you.
Like I said, as long as I’m sensible with whatever it is that I’m giving, I’m going to be absolutely fine. If I was throwing myself head first into things because I had no sense of direction or self awareness or self love etc. and I was just aimlessly diving into things with no idea of how they were going to end, then we’d have a problem. But if I throw every ounce of myself into everything that I do at full force because I have all this love to give and I want to experience life for every single magnificent little thing that it has to offer me, then that’s great, because life is too short for me not to.
I’m 20 years old right now – in another 3 lots of these 20 years, I will be 80. 80. In 3 more lots of these I will be 80 years old, and that’s terrifying. Ridiculous even. Who’s to even say I’ll live that long. This block of 20 years has literally flown by right before my very eyes and in another 3 I’ll be 80 years old or even 6 feet under with no concept of life anymore whatsoever, who knows. Sorry if that’s a bit morbid, but it’s real. Life is too short for me to sit here watching the world go by and not experiencing it for everything it has to offer.
Throughout life, we’re always waiting. What are we waiting for? Love. Money. Promotions. Bigger house. Children. Dream holiday. New clothes. Payday. New friends. Friday. The weekend. The list goes on. We’re always waiting for something, something bigger, something better. But what if we don’t have that long? What if we don’t have that long to wait? What if you’re gone tomorrow and you’ve spent all of your time waiting for these things that you never even got the chance to see happen? What if? What was the point, what did it all add up to? Amount to? Nothing.
You don’t have time to wait.
If I get a new piece of jewellery now, I wear it straight away. If I get a new piece of clothing, I try it on and wear it the second I get home. Screw waiting for a special occasion, – every day is a special occasion, and why? Because you’re alive. If that isn’t reason enough to celebrate, I don’t know what is.
Life is too short for me to not tell everyone I love them and to not wear that outfit because it’s too nice for me to only go down the supermarket in and to not eat that chocolate cake because I already treated myself yesterday and I really need to lose some weight and to not go to the cinema again because I already did that last week and to not ask to see my friend if they want to hang out for the second day in a row because I already saw them yesterday and what if they think I’m clingy or annoying and blah blah blah blah. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD. Less overthinking, more living. As Shia LaBeouf so wonderfully said, just do it. (I know we all remember those Vines).
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
This post is absolutely not to scare you in any way, because I’m pretty sure we’re all aware of the fact that time is a thing that exists, and it is constantly running out. However, I am here to tell you that because of this, we need to live. I know I do. I’m always waiting for something and I have absolutely no idea what for – so why am I doing it? Why am I sitting here waiting around for something that I wouldn’t even recognise if it hit me in the face? I’ve spoken about this a lot before – the fact that I constantly (used to) live in the future instead of the present. I put all of my happiness into the future because obviously, everything was going to have worked out by then and life would be great, and I saw a great tweet the other day that I’d never heard of before, but it changed my outlook on things massively. It was this –
“Beware of destination addiction: The idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, or even with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it’ll never be where you are.“
The last part really spoke to me, as in, it was screaming to me. It was screaming saying get out Chloe, go and live your life!! And then I turned 20 and the realisation hit me like a ton of bricks and now I’m here, writing this, urging you guys to get out there and do the same.
And why? Because life is too short not to.
All my love,