Hello my loves,
So, something big happened last week….
*drum roll please*
….I bought myself a single concert ticket because for the first time ever, I’m going to a show alone.
Kidding, I know it’s not that much of a big deal, but it is to me – I can’t even remember how many concerts I’ve been to throughout my life, I probably go to about 3 or 4 per year, but I’ve never actually been to one alone.
Basically (artist I’m going to see by the way is Demi Lovato) I’ve always had friends to go to concerts with because luckily, we’ve always been into the same music. There have however been numerous occasions sometimes where I’ve missed out on going to a concert because I didn’t know anyone that also liked the same artist and therefore skipped going (which I’m bummed about) but this time, I know people who like Demi, they just live really far away and so the two options for me here were either go alone or don’t go at all.
Not going at all was not an option.
There are 4 artists in my life that I would 100% never miss a concert on if I had the opportunity to go, these are – Harry Styles, Lana Del Rey, Ariana Grande and Demi Lovato.
I’ve waited 6 whole years (since I was 14) for Demi to tour the UK (not sure if it’s only just sunk in that there are other places in the country apart from London) and so when she finally announced her tour and I saw there was a date coming up near me, there was no way I was going to miss it, so it was just a given that I was going to buy myself a ticket.
I think because of this, the anxiety of it all didn’t really kick in until after I’d bought it because beforehand the only thing I was concentrating on was getting myself a seat.
So update: now that I’ve bought the seat, I’m kind of pooping myself.
Can’t lie, my anxiety has gone into OVERDRIVE. I think it’s subsided a little because I’m excited more than anything (which I’m grateful for, thanks brain) and honestly, the only thing I’m worried about is the journey there and actually getting into the arena. I hate driving in cities and don’t fancy paying a ridiculous amount for parking so I’ll get someone to drop me off, but regardless of wherever I’m going, if I’m ever getting dropped off somewhere it gives me time to overthink it and so my anxiety makes me feel like I’m about to explode, (there’s literally a knot forming in my stomach as I’m writing this) and so I’m not looking forward to that, I’m also not really looking forward to initially getting into the arena and making my way to my seat which is silly, since I’ve done it so many times before and have actually been to this arena before as well, so I remember it and know where everything is pretty much – if I don’t, I can just ask, no big deal.
Once that’s over and I find my seat, I’ll be fine. Things like sitting there on my own waiting for the concert to start don’t bother me too much because I’m quite independent anyway so I’m confident with being on my own in certain situations and literally no one is going to care or even notice that I’m by myself so again, no big deal – if I do feel a little awkward I can just go on my phone, problem sorted.
When the lights go down and everything starts literally no one is going to care about me and so I can just let go and enjoy everything, so I have no anxiety about that either and then when the concert finishes I can just call my lift and find my way back to the car – job done!
The only anxiety I have is just the initial time leading up to it because I’ll probably overthink it, the journey there and then arriving and finding / making my way to my seat. After that, everything will be fine – does anyone have any tips on how to calm myself down / not overthink it too much? All advice is welcome! ♡
I’m also super excited because A). I’m finally going to see Demi after 6 years, I’ve waited for this for so long I could explode. B). Because this could open up a whole world of new things for me – if this goes well (which I’m sure it will) then I will have overcome such a big barrier with my anxiety and it will also allow me to go to more concerts by myself in future, hooray to more living for myself and not allowing other people to dictate whether I can or can’t do something! And lastly, but probably most importantly, C). I need to do this. Long story short (I won’t go into it) but if you guys have read my other posts about depression, anxiety, my best friend etc. then you’ll know that life can be super shitty sometimes and basically, Demi has been my saviour since day one. Before my best friend passed I still had bad depression and anxiety, and my best friend wanted more than anything for me to see Demi one day because she knew it would make me happy, and that’s all she ever wanted. I need to do this for myself and I feel like in a way, it was meant to happen like this – I was meant to go on my own. It’s like a journey and an experience that I need to have with myself, by myself, and so I think it’s fate that it ended up happening this way. I know my best friend will be with me the whole way because all we ever did was dream of seeing Demi together someday, she wanted to be there with me to support me and to see me so happy that I was finally getting to be in the same room with someone who pretty much saved my life. It breaks my heart that Chels can’t be here with me physically but I know she’ll still be there and so this is something between her, Demi and I. Just us, so I don’t need anyone else to be with me – I have everything I need right here, within me, and I know it’s all going to be okay.
If you’ve ever been to a concert (or anywhere really) on your own before – how did it go? Like I said, any tips or advice would be greatly welcomed because I’m still a little nervous for it!
The concert isn’t until June, but I’ll be sure to also do a post after it to let you all know how it went – I hope I can look back at this post afterwards and wonder what I was even worried about.
All my love,