clearly

16/09/18
9:34pm

something is changing within me and i don’t know what it is

i’m seeing life in a whole new way

everything is so fragile, people are so fragile

be kind and give love and light to everyone, because god knows we need it

people are so beautiful and i’m finding the beauty in everything, everything is filled with light. i see people smiling and warmth fills my heart. it’s so amazing to see people and think wow, you’re everything good in the world

things are here one moment and gone the next, do you know how fragile that is? it’s fucking terrifying. i’m terrified. i realise i no longer look to the future now but rather, just the day i’m living in because who knows if i’ll make it until tomorrow. things can change in a second, i get emotional a lot and it feels like my eyes are always on the brim of tears from whatever it is i’m exposing myself to at that moment. sometimes it’s happiness and sometimes sadness, it’s mostly because of love. love for people and love for things that in turn make me cry because i don’t want them to leave and i want them to stay and i want to be with them and embrace them and let them know they’re loved. life is so beautiful. people are so beautiful. i love loving things, i love loving people and being like wow you’re such a source of light and warmth, i needed that. people need that. thank you. it’s enough. you’re enough. thank you for making my days better and giving me the strength i needed because i couldn’t find it anywhere else.

i see things differently now. death is strange. life is strange. everything is so fragile, right? fragile. fragility. everything is so precious. people are good. people are so good and some people are good and don’t realise it. i wish they did. i wish everyone could see how great they were. i wish i could take away the pain, i wish i could hold the sun in the palm of my hands and give it to them and say here, this is what you look like to me. this is what you are. love. light. warmth. thank you. i wish you could get better, i wish it i wish it i wish it. i hope you’re okay. i hope you find peace and i hope that everything finds you exactly the way it should because you deserve it. i want to smile at them and for them to smile back, knowing that it was sincere. knowing it was a genuine smile.

i’m crying again and i don’t know why. like i said, all i do is cry these days because everything makes me so emotional. it’s good to cry. everything is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes, it’s a mixture of sadness and beauty and wonder. my eyes are always glistening because i can’t hold it all in and i don’t want to. i’m trying not to cry whilst writing this now but it’s okay, crying is beautiful. tears are beautiful. breathe. life is good. you will be okay.

I can see clearly now
the rain has gone
I accept all the things that I cannot change
gone are the dark clouds
the dawn has come
it’s gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day
it’s gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day