Forgot to include this in my last post but uh…happy 200th post!
I mentioned a while ago that I wanted to start connecting with myself and others even more on this blog by sharing my journal entries, scanned writings etc.
I just finished writing a new journal entry and decided to flip back and read through my old ones and I realised that without even knowing it, I have written a lot of love letters to myself. I cried actually, because I needed to hear it today, I needed that reassurance from myself and it was so strange to get that love from my past self who clearly knew what she was going through and therefore wrote those words of kindness for past Chloe, present Chloe and future Chloe. I was going to scan them and post them but then I realised even that is too personal for me because my journal is so, so precious. It’s one of my most prized belongings and I cherish it.
I’m going to write the entries here instead of actually showing you them because at least then that way, I still get to keep something for myself. I have a lot of entries of this nature so I’m going to start a mini series called love letters to myself, I hope they can bring you some love and light just like they did to me, even when I didn’t know I needed it.
Babygirl you are the universe, you are made of the wind and the oceans, the sun and the moon, sunlight and stardust. You are made of the world yet you’re going to let an insignificant spec of dust burn you to the ground? My love, you are made of much stronger things. You always have been. You have been through so much worse than a boy not wanting you yet here you are, still standing. Your heart is too big for your body and you don’t know how to carry it without falling over the edge yet you still stand, you still use the thing that pulls you out to sea, unable to keep you afloat. The universe spent a lifetime creating you yet you’re going to let yourself wilt and die over the weeds – let them shrivel up and turn your face towards the sun, let the light fill your soul and grow so much that there just simply isn’t room for anyone else. The only flower in this garden is you and you are so vibrant that there doesn’t need to be anyone else, you are as mesmerising and beautiful as a sea of flowers all on your own, and you will grow for yourself only.
“Flowers grow back after they’ve been stepped on and so will I.”
All my love,