April Book Reviews

Hi loves,

Here’s April’s book reviews!

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Ashley Bell – Dean Koontz
2/5 stars
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how this was a no.1 New York Times best seller I’ve no idea

So…this book. I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway years ago now and never got around to reading it, until I started looking at the most popular books on Kindle recently and saw that Dean Koontz was a name that kept popping up a lot, and since I already owned a book written by him, I thought I’d give it a go.

Well.

I wish I hadn’t.

After my experience of reading Ashley Bell, I can safely say that I do not rate Dean Koontz as an author. At all. His writing was all over the place, it was so weird, like he was just weaving in and out of lines that didn’t make any coherent sense, like he was trying to do something and make himself look smart when actually, it just made him look strange and I kept thinking to myself…who the hell wrote this?

Everything serious happened very quickly and it was poorly executed in my opinion – it was like suddenly the world was ending and we were thrown straight into the deep end, presented with what I believe was Koontz’s attempt at poetic, lyrical writing accompanied by deep thoughts and metaphors, when 1). he (in my opinion) lacked the ability to do this as it all sounded very off and 2). he hadn’t yet developed the plot or the characters enough in order to have the right to do that or to be able to pull it off. It was all so underdeveloped that it came off as this rambling nonsense and it was very obvious he was trying too hard – he was introducing us to things as if we should have already known about them even though he hadn’t mentioned them up until that point, which therefore then failed to have the desired effect, as he hadn’t yet developed the plot enough in order to elicit those feeling and emotions within the reader. I didn’t care, basically.Β I just felt like he didn’t really know what he was writing about, it was like he was writing a book just for the sake of it – for the sake of having another published book to add to his collection.

His sentence structures were very weird…very off, and I kept finding grammatical errors which, as a spelling and grammar freak, really put me off and made it hard to concentrate since all I could think about was OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS GRAMMAR. LOOK AT IT.

Also…our main female protagonist.

All I will say is, you can tell this book was written by a man. Seriously. Our main protagonist Bibi is a poor and failed attempt at writing a heroine, and she sucks. She’s supposed to be this defiant, strong, independent woman…but actually, she’s just incredibly unlikeable and annoying. Which is fine, if that was the purpose of Koontz writing her…but it wasn’t. We’re supposed to like her and I assume, want to be her, but it was just really off-putting. I think Koontz should stick to writing men in future because he clearly has no idea how to write a female lead. At one point I thought if I heard the phrase “valiant girls don’t do this / brave girls don’t do that / defiant girls do this” one more time I’d actually explode.

Bibi gets told she has a year to live and she’s like lol okay cool, don’t need your opinions anyway! She was also in an extremely hard to get into writing programme and the owner kicks her out for “reasons she won’t discuss with Bibi” and so even though Bibi doesn’t know what she’s supposed to have done…instead of doing the normal thing and you know, asking why, she’s just like well okay then! Didn’t need this anyway! I’m better than you! I’m an independent woman and I don’t need this! Which, spoiler alert, the reason she got kicked out of the writing programme…which we finally discover after 500 pages, was the most randomly pointless thing ever and so anti-climatic it was unbelievable.

And of course, I cannot forget the grand finale.

Bibi says she’s glad she has brain cancer, because it’ll show her soon-to-be husband’s true intentions. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Bibi has brain cancer and all she’s worried about is the fact that it’ll show if her future husband will still find her attractive with hair or not. Because yes, as women that is the most important thing to us. Forget the fact I’m dying of brain cancer, the real priority here is will my future husband still fancy me when my hair’s fallen out ?? I honestly had to put the book down at this point because I was just so speechless.

A. man. wrote. this. book.

I did not get this book. Believe me when I tell you that this book has absolutely no point to it whatsoever. It’s so random and bizarre. The only reason I was intrigued enough to keep reading was to see how Koontz actually wrapped up and ‘resolved’ the story, because it was so utterly bizarre, I could not think of a single ending that would even make the slightest bit of sense.

And I was right, because it didn’t.

The ending was just…rubbish. Shockingly rubbish though, and if you’re British you probably know which word I’m replacing there. It was so pointless.Β The big reveal at the end was no big reveal at all because it sucked, basically, and all of the events that had happened in the book prior to this mysterious reveal now made evenΒ lessΒ sense because the severity of the revelation was not enough to generate the very severe events that had occurred because of it. The whole thing was just so disappointing and anti-climatic (if I wasn’t disappointed enough already) and I cannot believe I slogged through 600 pages of utter twaddle just to get to…that.

Speaking of pages, Bibi goes into a coma after the first 100 (which I don’t think is a spoiler and even if it is, forgive me because this book is so poor you shouldn’t read it anyway) – so we get 500 whole pages of her being in a coma, and then when she wakes up she literally says “Yuck. Brain cancer sucks!”, hops out of bed like it’s nothing, starts talking to her soon-to-be husband like she’s being paid to take part in a cheap porn movie, and no one seems to be reacting in the way they most definitely should be if that was in fact, the case.

This book was one of the most pointless things I’ve read, poorly executed with a dodgy storyline and characters that I didn’t care the slightest bit about – most of them were unlikeable. In fact, no, all of them were.

I do not rate Dean Koontz as an author at all and if you’re going to take anything away from this review, it’s the fact that you shouldn’t read this book. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

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Wild Embers – Nikita Gill
3/5 stars
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It’s hard to rate this one, it wasn’t for me personally as it just didn’t do anything for me and it all felt very flat, the structure of the poems felt a little off to me as they didn’t quite flow properly so I was kind of disappointed, as I thought (and was hoping) that Nikita Gill would be a writer I really liked. However, I gave it 3 stars because I can still appreciate her work and the effort she’s put in to create this book – seemingly a lot more than the likes of people like Amanda Lovelace so, 3 stars for her craft, though personally I’d give it a 2.5.

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – J.K. Rowling
3/5 stars
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As mentioned in last month’s book post I have finally at the grand old age of 22, started to read Harry Potter. I again also read this one on Kindle hence why I don’t have a physical copy to show you, (and am therefore using the Kindle cover instead). I feel like as I’m making my way through this series I won’t have much to say about each individual book but out of the 3 I’ve read so far (Prisoner of Azkaban review below) I think Chamber of Secrets is my favourite! Looking forward to continuing on with the series.

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – J.K. Rowling
3/5 stars
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So, I didn’t whizz through this one as quickly as I did the other 2, I think this one took me 3/4 days as oppose to 2. This one for me felt quite repetitive – whether that was due to the actual story itself or the fact it just happened to be the third time I ended up reading the same routine, I’m not sure, but I’m starting to get a little bored of the same storyline of the book starting when Harry’s at home for the Summer, eventually going back to Hogwarts, playing Quidditch, something evil comes after Harry, staying at Hogwarts over Christmas etc. – I think I was getting a little bored of now having to read the same storyline for the third time in a row and therefore I didn’t reach for the book as much as I did for the first 2 books. There also didn’t seem to be as much action this time either and I felt like the action only really happened during the last 25% of the book which was a little disappointing, though the ending was great.

AlsoΒ whyΒ was the big Quidditch match only written over literally 4 pages when it’s one of the biggest things…ever, and one of the main highlights of the book ??? I said this in my Philosopher’s Stone review but everything is skipped over so fast in these stories!

I didn’t like this one as much as the other 2 but it was still an enjoyable read, so it still gets 3 stars from me.

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All my love,

Chloe .xx

Goodreads – ChloLuna

 

37 thoughts on “April Book Reviews

  1. chloeburford says:

    Oh my gosh Dean Koontz sounds like such an awful author with such prejudice views! However, I absolutely love that you included a bad review in this!!! I have flown through books during lockdown so your book reviews are always appreciated. I haven’t read the harry potter books in soo long and now you have made me wanna re-read them!! Loved this post xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chloe Luna says:

      He definitely is !! As much as I don’t like posting bad reviews since it’s someone’s work I’m critiquing, I can’t deny I love going on a long rant about how much I disliked a particular book hahaha. I’ve seen soo many people get into reading during this lockdown and it makes me so happy!! I feel like Harry Potter books are classics and so many people probably re-read them all the time as a little childhood comfort, which is so sweet! xxx

      Like

  2. Cordelia. says:

    Woah the fact that Koontz’s book is a best seller though? it sounds really pretentious? Oh my Harry Potter getting only a 3 hahaha! I’ve never read them but I did find the moview entertaining! I can’t wait to read your review on your latest hauls cause those sound sooo good!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chloe Luna says:

      No.1 New York Times bestseller apparently !! Crazy. They must have all read a different book because I know for sure I didn’t read a New York Times best seller haha. I haven’t seen the HP movies yet, the books are only getting a 3 from me because they’re nice reads but nothing groundbreaking, I’d say it’s definitely because I’m reading it at a later age. If I’d have read them when I was younger they probably would’ve scored higher! X

      Liked by 1 person

    • Chloe Luna says:

      Currently reading The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern, Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo and The Beekeeper’s Promise by FIona Valpy, enjoying them all so far! xx

      Like

  3. Prutha Pimpalgaonkar says:

    I am going to be honest here, My least favourite book is the chamber of secrets. If you take a look at the other books it basically doesn’t even have a plot but again its your opinion. The real action begins from the third book onwards (I write this as I watch the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the umpteenth time). Great post!
    Stay healthy
    -Prutha xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chloe Luna says:

      Ahh really? I guess since I’ve only read 3 of them so far I don’t have that much to compare it to, my thought process will probably change once I’ve read more !! Thank you for reading, hope you’re well! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. seaofwordsx says:

    I love your honest reviews always hahah you are the best πŸ’– Someone has to say the truth about books and writers. I definitely won’t read his books. Brain cancer is horrible and it seems strange how they handle that in the book. Also when they talk about if her husband would like her without hair wtf definitely a man writing that. Sounds so gross. I’m reading now a book about sexual assault and controlling behaviour of men and it’s so beautiful. It’s written by a women and you definitely feel that. The books from Harry Potter sounds so nice, want to read them! I love Nikita Gill. I check her poems on Instagram

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chloe Luna says:

      Thank you angel !! I often (believe it or not) feel bad about giving book’s bad reviews because it feels too personal since it’s someone’s work and they’ve put time and effort into writing it…but then I remember that I also put time and effort into reading it and it was a wasteful experience therefore I should be allowed to give my opinion haha. What’s the book you’re currently reading called? It sounds interesting! xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. priya says:

    OH MY GOODNESS CHLOE HAHA i LIVED for your Dean Koontz review, what a wild ride!! Oh god the part about her husband being attracted to her absolutely SENT me, your way with words is just as powerful when you’re mad and I LOVE it haha. I actually felt the same way after reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson, because oh boy – the man rates himself. Your entire monologue about Koontz was essentially the same as mine after I finished the Manson book, and I’m so glad I didn’t buy the second one before reading it. Idk if you’d like it, it’s a bit slow but so beautifully written – try The Overstory by Richard Powers! Chunky read, that I didn’t think I’d like at all, but I ended up loving it! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chloe Luna says:

      HAHAHA so glad you liked it !! I kind of get carried away when on a rambling tangent when I’m talking about a book I don’t like, I can’t help myself. I actually think I might have The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck on my TBR…in which case I will be swiftly removing if because I CANNOT go through another Koontz-like experience again haha. Haven’t heard of it before but will definitely check out The Overstory !! Thanks girly xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. crystalsandcurls says:

    HAHAHAHA ifuckinglove/hatedeankoontz He’s SUCH a hit and miss author and cannot for the life of him write good female characters. The first book I read of his (shadows) was good, so i tried a few more and… yeah, he’s an author I’m happy to skip over. The storylines are always like super weird and not coherent xx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. arshia says:

    Your review on Ashely Bell was so enjoyable to read! Very much in contrast to the book itself which sounds like a pain to have gone through, oh no.
    I hope you like the rest of the Harry Potter books! My personal favourites are definitely Chamber of Secrets, and Order of the Phoenix.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chloe Luna says:

      Ahh I’m glad you enjoyed it !! I tend to ramble so it’s amazing to me that people actually read what I write haha. So good to know Chamber of Secrets is one of your favourites too, it might remain my favourite! X

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Kitty Jade says:

    I think you’ve rated the Koontz far too high, especially in correlation to the review! Sounds like a disgrace. Though men can write female roles really well, he really can’t. Give it no stars if you can!
    As for Harry Potter, I’m glad you’re reading them even if it is no longer childhood. I would rate them all 5 stars but that’s just because of the nostalgia I attached to them. Hope you have a great day x

    Liked by 1 person

  9. siouxtrett says:

    Okay, I have to know… how did that review of the Koontz book possibly rate more than a single star?? What was the redeeming factor that made you rip it to shreds (sounds like quite justifiably at that!) and then grant it two stars instead of one? Soooo curious! (Also, i just love your reviews! I love the honesty and humor!)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chloe Luna says:

      Hahaha very true! I think because I dragged myself through 600 pages of it I gave myself an extra star because believe me it was not fun! Thank you so much as well, glad to know you enjoy them !! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Kojo says:

    Honestly, I am so curious that I want to read Ashley Bell now, haha. That whole paragraph where you talk about how all she is worried about is what her fiance thinks just killed me. Also: “hops out of bed like it’s nothing, starts talking to her soon-to-be husband like she’s being paid to take part in a cheap porn movie.” Chloe, just how many porn films have you seen??? I kid. I hope you are doing well xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chloe Luna says:

      Hahaha the only way I’ll let you read it is if you’re doing it to share my pain otherwise STAY AWAY. Also please don’t discuss my secret life on public forums I thought we talked about this… xx

      Liked by 1 person

  11. evelynb98 says:

    wow… Ashley Bell sounds um interesting? I think that might be a male author to avoid from now on, I definitely won’t be trying any of his books.

    I hope you enjoy the next few Harry Potter books more, they really pick up after Prisoner of Azkaban and honestly more like YA from there on out!

    Liked by 1 person

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