I lay in bed last night, windows wide open, talking to the moon. I do this often. Everyone believes in something or someone, I believe in the moon and the universe. I ask them questions in hopes they’ll answer. I got a little sad last night, maybe a little angry too. I started to think out loud and then I addressed the moon directly when I started asking questions. In my life I never seem to get closure. On anything. I trust the universe and know that whatever is or isn’t happening to me at any moment in time, is for the best. The universe has my best interests at heart and so even though it may not seem that way right now, even though I may be hurting, it’ll all make sense in the end, and I’ll be thankful. The universe knows what it’s doing. Last night I told the moon I couldn’t understand why she never gave me closure, why her way always seemed to be bursting things wide open for me and allowing the flood to drown everything out, never shutting the floodgates behind her. I couldn’t understand. At first it was just a question, a talk I was hoping to have, but then I started to cry. And I said I didn’t understand why I was never allowed closure and why she never gave that to me when she knew how my emotions worked, she knew what I needed and closure on most things was one of them, yet she would never let me have it. Why? I kind of just sat there misty eyed talking into the sky, voice cracking every time I listed off another emotional moment in my life when I needed closure and never got it. The more I spoke the more I realised my definition of closure was always something that came from other people – they needed to give me closure because it was something I needed. I needed to receive it from someone else in order to turn the page and close the book. Sometimes I do believe the only way we can receive closure is from another person because sometimes, you have questions that you yourself will never be able to fully answer, but last night I realised that actually, I also have the ability to give myself closure too, if I want to. Here I am asking questions as to why I was never given closure and the answer kind of dawned on me slowly and all at once. I need to receive closure from someone, from a person…but aren’t I just that? Aren’t I a someone? Aren’t I a person? And maybe that’s the answer. Maybe the answer was right there within myself – literally – all along. Maybe I can give myself closure and allow myself to heal in ways that other people will not. And maybe that’s why I talk to the moon, because she makes me see things I couldn’t see before. And I know that if I told her that, she’d tell me that she didn’t make me see anything at all, she’d tell me that it was all me and she simply did nothing but watch and observe, and maybe she’s right, but maybe I’m right too, or maybe we both are. Either way I’m grateful, to both myself and to her, for making me understand things I couldn’t before, and realising the answers were inside of me all along.