talking to the moon

I lay in bed last night, windows wide open, talking to the moon. I do this often. Everyone believes in something or someone, I believe in the moon and the universe. I ask them questions in hopes theyโ€™ll answer. I got a little sad last night, maybe a little angry too. I started to think out loud and then I addressed the moon directly when I started asking questions. In my life I never seem to get closure. On anything. I trust the universe and know that whatever is or isnโ€™t happening to me at any moment in time, is for the best. The universe has my best interests at heart and so even though it may not seem that way right now, even though I may be hurting, itโ€™ll all make sense in the end, and Iโ€™ll be thankful. The universe knows what itโ€™s doing. Last night I told the moon I couldnโ€™t understand why she never gave me closure, why her way always seemed to be bursting things wide open for me and allowing the flood to drown everything out, never shutting the floodgates behind her. I couldnโ€™t understand. At first it was just a question, a talk I was hoping to have, but then I started to cry. And I said I didnโ€™t understand why I was never allowed closure and why she never gave that to me when she knew how my emotions worked, she knew what I needed and closure on most things was one of them, yet she would never let me have it. Why? I kind of just sat there misty eyed talking into the sky, voice cracking every time I listed off another emotional moment in my life when I needed closure and never got it. The more I spoke the more I realised my definition of closure was always something that came from other people โ€“ they needed to give me closure because it was something I needed. I needed to receive it from someone else in order to turn the page and close the book. Sometimes I do believe the only way we can receive closure is from another person because sometimes, you have questions that you yourself will never be able to fully answer, but last night I realised that actually, I also have the ability to give myself closure too, if I want to. Here I am asking questions as to why I was never given closure and the answer kind of dawned on me slowly and all at once. I need to receive closure from someone, from a personโ€ฆbut arenโ€™t I just that? Arenโ€™t I a someone? Arenโ€™t I a person? And maybe thatโ€™s the answer. Maybe the answer was right there within myself โ€“ literally – all along. Maybe I can give myself closure and allow myself to heal in ways that other people will not. And maybe thatโ€™s why I talk to the moon, because she makes me see things I couldnโ€™t see before. And I know that if I told her that, sheโ€™d tell me that she didnโ€™t make me see anything at all, sheโ€™d tell me that it was all me and she simply did nothing but watch and observe, and maybe sheโ€™s right, but maybe Iโ€™m right too, or maybe we both are. Either way Iโ€™m grateful, to both myself and to her, for making me understand things I couldn’t before, and realising the answers were inside of me all along.

15 thoughts on “talking to the moon

  1. chloeburford says:

    This is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read and really touched me. I also struggle not having closure, it eats me up and makes me feel like moving on from trauma is impossible and will stay with me forever. I have never really thought of talking to the moon or sky, but I really need to open up and do so. Thank you so much for sharing such beautiful words, sending you lots of love xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chloe Luna says:

      Oh you are just an angel !! Seriously thank you so much, wowie. I’d definitely recommend opening yourself up to it, there’s a lot of self-discovery to be had โœจ sending you all the love .xx

      Like

  2. theautumndaydreamer says:

    This is so, so beautiful, Chloe. I’ve always felt a special connection with the moon. Whether its completely full or in the process or waxing or waning, I always find myself angling my head upward just so I can glimpse where it is in the sky. There is something comforting in knowing that the moon is up there, always watching – especially at night when things feel all that more heavy. Lovely as always. โค xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. seaofwordsx says:

    Wow this is so beautiful Chloe <3. I'm in awe with your beautiful and emotional words. I also talk to the moon at night. Especially here in Spain I open my window and can just see the moon from my room which is so beautiful. I love to watch the stars too. The moon and the universe makes me feel so much. I also have felt so many times that I needed closure especially when I got my heart broken. I agree so much with you that we have the answers in our hearts and that we can give us the closure we need. I don't want to except that from a person all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kojo says:

    This post really shows off your personality in a way that is so unique. I find it so interesting that you look to the universe and to the moon for answers. It is a little different, but I am fascinated by everything to do with space. I would often lose my thoughts just looking up at the night sky to the moon or the stars. I still find myself doing that even now, whenever I am in my backyard at night. You are right; you are a someone. Sometimes, we have to find our own closure (i.e. Miles ‘Pudge’ Halter) xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. siouxtrett says:

    I remember as a kid, learning that the moon doesn’t produce its own light. That its job is to reflect what is already there, and that reflection is enough to light our whole skies. Maybe that’s what she did for you.
    This is really lovely.
    Happy Closure. โค

    Liked by 6 people

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