writer’s (un)block

Trying to control my own happiness and tell myself that Iโ€™m in charge. I donโ€™t know how to be mentally stronger and how to control my emotions. I get to choose how I feel right now, this could be the happiest moment of my life if I want it to be, but emotionally I donโ€™t know how to think that. Getting very much back in touch with my writerโ€™s side at the moment, Iโ€™m constantly writing and journaling, constantly getting the words down, constantly reading the words of others. Sitting in bed at night reading Sylvia Plath and wondering how someone can sound so much like home. The words are just pouring out of me and Iโ€™m leaving them everywhere, with different people in different places, Iโ€™m leaving snippets of me in cracks and empty spaces in order to fill them. Giving people different pieces of me, different slices of thoughtsโ€ฆyou can have this and you can have this, hereโ€™s what I think about this and hereโ€™s my answer to this. I thought about what that would be like if I died right now. Thereโ€™s lots of pieces of me everywhere and Iโ€™m okay with that. I like being in different places at once. Pain is never beautiful, but it inspires the writer within me and forces words to come out of the thought faucet that hasnโ€™t been turned on for some time. Now itโ€™s overflowing. I canโ€™t stop it and I donโ€™t want to, I have so much to say and I donโ€™t know where to share it all, so I share it everywhere, with everyone. Even if no oneโ€™s going to read it. Either way, it makes me feel like my most authentic self and yes it hurts, but it makes me happy because of what it allows me to create. Turning pain into art. Turning the hurt into healing.

2 thoughts on “writer’s (un)block

  1. chloeburford says:

    Itโ€™s so amazing that youโ€™re writing, I always feel like a weights been lifted off me once Iโ€™ve written in my diary (even if I get lazy at it sometimes). Thank you so much for your constant honesty, it really is so comforting and reassuring to know Iโ€™m not the only one! Xxxx

    Liked by 2 people

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