sour

Anxiety, anxiety, started following me. To put it lightly. It’s driving me crazy. Ever since this anxiety trip it’s been a constant battle, I’ve lost myself a lot and ever since it’s just been a battle of fighting to try and get myself back and more importantly, to stay there. I don’t feel very stable. …

rain running

Walking has become my new saviour. Anxiety has become the prison I find myself trapped in and I’ve been searching for things that allow me to set myself free. I bought Spotify premium and mental health-wise it’s been such a good investment. I use Spotify everyday anyway, but recently I’ve been using it even more …

anxiety trip

14/09/21 I lost my mind last week. Well, I didn’t, but I might as well have done. It felt like I did. It was one of the worst anxiety trips I’ve ever had, and it lasted for essentially an entire week. Normally when I have spells like that they’ll last a few days at a …

earthside

my anxiety has been playing up a lot lately . i’ve decided in order to fix this i should be spending time outdoors . i’ve also been reading conversations with friends by sally rooney and have noticed my inner monologue change to that of frances and the way that she thinks . or maybe we …

I don’t want the world to see me / iris

- an old post I wrote a long time ago, but one I'm going to share today - not everything is still applicable now, but it was at the time. 16/06/18 I remember being 12 or 13 driving home from somewhere with my family. I was staring out of the window zoning out until the …

drowning

turning sadness into art . turning you into poetry . you should be grateful i write you down . i’m grateful i write at all . when you’re gone all i do is think about you and it hurts me to watch you leave . you left in my rear view mirror and i thought …

butterfly soliloquy

Sometimes I think comfort and home can be present in a person straight away, rather than something you build up to. I read once that after the initial butterflies die down you don't get them anymore, because what you get instead is comfort and familiarity because this person is your home and they never make …

waking up slow

Sometimes I get scared of being alone. I love being alone but I don’t like being lonely. Now I don’t like being alone or being lonely. I don’t know why I’m scared of my own company, I guess because it means I have time to sit there and overthink myself into anxiety, which is the …

the art of starting over

Hello my loves, It's the Easter weekend as I'm writing this meaning we have 4 days off, and I plan on being productive for all of them. I've written myself a list of the things I want to get done before I go back to work on Tuesday and there's nothing more satisfying than going …

vulnerability

Being vulnerable isn't beautiful, it's terrifying. There's always this saying that being vulnerable is a beautiful and brave thing to do. But it's not. I don't feel brave at all. I feel terrified and anxious and like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs and I can't remember the last time I …