2000 followers!

Hello my loves, I cannot believe I'm saying this, but...thank you for 2000 followers. When I first started this blog back in early 2017, I used to follow people who had really amazing blogs with therefore, a lot of followers, and I was so inspired and used to think wow, I hope one day I …

beautiful world, where are you

Winter is different for me this year and it’s so nice, I don’t want to jinx it but that’s how it is. I feel happy and light and controlled and…not depressed. I don’t think the seasonal depression or Winter blues will get me this year, I’m finding myself able to enjoy Winter (aka, my favourite …

sour

Anxiety, anxiety, started following me. To put it lightly. It’s driving me crazy. Ever since this anxiety trip it’s been a constant battle, I’ve lost myself a lot and ever since it’s just been a battle of fighting to try and get myself back and more importantly, to stay there. I don’t feel very stable. …

rain running

Walking has become my new saviour. Anxiety has become the prison I find myself trapped in and I’ve been searching for things that allow me to set myself free. I bought Spotify premium and mental health-wise it’s been such a good investment. I use Spotify everyday anyway, but recently I’ve been using it even more …

anxiety trip

14/09/21 I lost my mind last week. Well, I didn’t, but I might as well have done. It felt like I did. It was one of the worst anxiety trips I’ve ever had, and it lasted for essentially an entire week. Normally when I have spells like that they’ll last a few days at a …

I don’t want the world to see me / iris

- an old post I wrote a long time ago, but one I'm going to share today - not everything is still applicable now, but it was at the time. 16/06/18 I remember being 12 or 13 driving home from somewhere with my family. I was staring out of the window zoning out until the …

drowning

turning sadness into art . turning you into poetry . you should be grateful i write you down . i’m grateful i write at all . when you’re gone all i do is think about you and it hurts me to watch you leave . you left in my rear view mirror and i thought …

butterfly soliloquy

Sometimes I think comfort and home can be present in a person straight away, rather than something you build up to. I read once that after the initial butterflies die down you don't get them anymore, because what you get instead is comfort and familiarity because this person is your home and they never make …

happiness

Feeling genuinely happy has been a pretty much foreign concept to me for…ever. Which sounds very dramatic but in the grand scheme of things I can’t really remember points in my life where I’ve felt genuinely happy and content. Of course I’ve had happy times in my life, lots of them and which I’m very …

vulnerability

Being vulnerable isn't beautiful, it's terrifying. There's always this saying that being vulnerable is a beautiful and brave thing to do. But it's not. I don't feel brave at all. I feel terrified and anxious and like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs and I can't remember the last time I …