Creativity has been whirling around my head lately and like I said in my 1 year blogiversary post, I wanted to make this blog a creative space and somewhere people can come to talk and feel inspired. I just wanna spread the magic, okay?
Instead of looking at Midnight Wanderer as a blog, I’m going to look at it as more of a creative project – a creative space. Somewhere I can post pictures and write these messy thoughts and ramblings and explore a lot more things – I want to have discussions, talk about feminism, sexuality, growing, changing, experimenting, I want to hear your story. I want to collaborate and work with you guys but in a way that lets me know more about you and benefits not only you, but everyone else reading it too. I have so much creative energy inside me that I never really know what to do with but I know I could be doing a lot more, it’s just about trying to find a way to do that.
I have a lot of random, rambling, messy thoughts that I either don’t post on here and if I do, I tidy them up so that eventually I’m able to turn them into a coherent blog post that makes some kind of sense. I’m going to try and change that a little now, and by that I mean that all of these messy thoughts I have, I write in my journal, so I’m probably just going to scan those journal pages and upload them onto here instead rather than just missing them out completely or trying to turn them into something coherent, because then it’s not raw, right? It’s not as real as it was when I first wrote it.
Pressed flowers, polaroids, crystals, handwritten notes, art, colour and light. I want to include all of it here, like I mentioned before in this post, I feel like I’ve lost my authenticity a bit by now doing everything electronically. Before I had this blog, I would press flowers and take polaroids and write everything in my journal, some of the best things I’ve ever written came from sitting at my desk at 3am pouring out my thoughts onto the page until I thought my arm was going to fall off. I used to take photographs in a way that made me feel nostalgic – I’d edit them to create a certain feeling and I don’t do that anymore. Since I created this blog and transferred everything over into blog posts, I haven’t really written anything good in my journal since – I still write, of course, but it’s never as raw, because now when I have these thoughts I type them all into a new WordPress document instead, rather than reaching for my journal and it’s lost the magic that it once had. I’ve lost the magic that I once had. Now, my journal just feels like a diary, I don’t write in it the same way that I used to and I hate it and I need to change it. I want to be as creative as I can here and make this a creative space for not only me, but all of you that follow and read it too.
I need to express myself more because right now I know I’m not fulfilling everything that I can be – I don’t take photographs anymore, I don’t press flowers or journal properly anymore and I need to do it! I need to go back to the things that made me create this blog in the first place – I wanted to share all of these things and instead, I feel like I’ve shared them and then drifted away from them. I feel like I used to live in this nostalgic, hazy dreamworld and then I crashed back down to Earth and now I’m stuck in the grey looms of reality – somewhere I never want to be.
Instagram is a big one for me – I want to use it to share my photos and a couple of years ago I did, but then I got too self conscious and closed in on myself and now I never use it to post my own things, only to look at others. I don’t want to create a new account because I already like the one I have but people I know in real life follow me on there and I know that unfollowing them would cause so much drama that I really don’t want and so instead, I just sit there and don’t post anything at all – I want to talk about my blog on there and share my personal thoughts but instead I don’t and it really bugs me, because I want to so badly. What do you think about that? Should I bite the bullet and just unfollow these people? I have nothing against them, I just don’t like people I know seeing my personal space, as it were – I want to feel free to express myself without judgement or worrying about whispers behind my back, you know?
I will probably do a journal tour, I will probably share some drawings that I’ve done and hopefully I can share polaroids etc. with you all too. Like I said, I don’t want this blog to be a place where people come to read about what I got for my birthday, I want it to be a place people can come to express and explore themselves, get creative inspiration and realise that there’s so much love and magic in the world and it’s all available to you – you just have to see it.
I hope this made sense, if you have anything you’d like to add or any ideas / suggestions then please let me know.
My contact info is always available on the contact me page but if you have any collaboration ideas etc. feel free to drop me an email email@example.com, I love hearing from you guys♡
All my love,
(A very confused) Chloe .xx